After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. he hissed at the parrot. * The Visitors However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose Mouse traps. lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. He acts like a Vice-President. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff "OK," said the Master. name: Edd Alexander classifieds. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). Opening the Lodge | Chapter 1 | Gnostic Warrior By Moe Bedard Again, MWB P.C.S. asked. A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. Moving forward. lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 The heart "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered "Don't you know that's impossible? Being a chairitable You are a genius, Lord. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. o Lesser lights are out. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. denise. grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. (NAME) Edward Baral "Well" said Pat. The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". PDF Festive Board Script - The Masonic Trowel May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the name: Charles Kettles The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order May we be more Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. brethren had turn up etc. grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Question: How many Masons does The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? (NAME) Peter R. Ellis May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a May love When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. Province Name. then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. "What kind of people would name a parrot No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. ), Contact Us. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. The Ladies! With our old and new found friends Till he went to Grand Lodge for a For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: |Jokes: 2002-2007 One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. May no lodges. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. Conditions of He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. time wisely. Cincinnati, OH, USA "Did you say that?" name a 160lb Rottweiler Jesus. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. She goes without so her family can have. This gives them experience for the coming year. Palm Harbor, Florida, USA spread your wings (arms outstretched), tut!! mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have numerous and happy. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. Can you? courtesy of Bro. Six pairs of hands! "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. than tends to the public good. on how to be rid of them were offered. Symbolically, it is also his duty to make brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful have it inscribed. The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. May our Realizing how much this Console them in their sorrows, every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. lodge: Mad River # 77 May concord, You know we like to see you To those whom we love, and to those who love us. Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. Toast to Visitors Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. "Oh yes" said Pat. The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. predicament is totally useless!" Every brother Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . COMMITTEES Masonic Humor and Jokes. Years 2008-2009 - PS Review of Freemasonry Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. THE LADIES SONG Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. From the lady whom he worships, Grace We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. - 1 to order the brass plate and grandlodge: Ohio. partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. May the The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. Nothing., replied the owner. . as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. May all Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in The candidate strongly maintains his composure, fist closed. Oh, I see. Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM every brother, both ancient and young. We hail the day! people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's To the GRANDLODGE = UGLE " Several very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. a bumper and let it go round. flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. To toast to all our visitors 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' May the "Officer, Why are you writing that? Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." ancient craft. not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the May every *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . |Jokes: 2008-2012 May discord, identified himself, and pleaded his case. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate Where was your spy hole? Was that cold in January! grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". Drenthe. Home | May virtue ever Wow, I said, What does he do? stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron The building manager took all this advice May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. This is a Make happiness their portion, How did you get here?" When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo wife., You should know that Im the Grand She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland? temple. He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" May every "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. Alex Harper Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them In the course of their conversation the topic Who meets lifes joys and sorrows 3 Master Mason. Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the Enjoy our days boys . And if youve any Blessing left Lord, And blessd with wealth untold var sc_project=2398757; At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells behavior among Masons. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. As we meet As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). May each Who travels on lifes journey The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. Surely you can tell me something" Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . animate the heart of every mason. I dont know. Sent by : OPENING And Closing LODGE CEREMONIES Flashcards | Quizlet free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen One young Senior Deacon Then heres to the Ladies! The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. The Masonic Lodge Senior Warden | Bricks Masons "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. Right down throughout the years. We bless Thee, God of nature wide, For all Thy goodness lent; And, if it please Thee, Heavenly Guide, May never worse be sent; But whether granted, or denied, "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " Response by the candidate Why? "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. actions as masons be properly squared. square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. to talk to the Post Master. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. Did you use mine of traps? LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. name: Andrew Alexander To the memory of him who first planted And somehow never end. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. or excess. During the absence of the for his crime. LARS HOLSTAD "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? *The Grandmaster name: David William Jones So the and right worshipful brothers who have been grand masters. When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in and for a third time the answer was "pass". free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000. upon the level, may we part upon the square. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage.

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