Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". This poker game is important to you and I messed it up by inviting this windbag. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. My parents play this with me all the time! I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Welcome to Leroy's! Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. They're disgusting. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Carl Otis Winslow: No. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. urkel-steve. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Ouchith! The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. The Battle of Bad Pickup Lines: Round 1 || STEVE HARVEY Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. It can't explode or anything? No. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. Steve Urkel: I can't! All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Money has germs on it. Does that about cover it? I just got a job! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. Hey, what were you doing in my closet? Get up and get your own pie! Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. I'm Stefan sweet thing. . You know what? No, you're not invited. I won't be able to take you to the prom. Steve Urkel: Could. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? We'll go camping together some other time. That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. I'm on duty? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. Steve Urkel: My "play-ground pass"? Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. Laura: Sure. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? [laughs]. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Well, why didn't you tell me? Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Calm down, easy. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. You gotta fix that machineeeee. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. Can you carry me home? Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard! Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Carl: Rough. No! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to! Mondo do du chok! Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Let's keep this one! A bee to a blossom. Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. Steve is the perfect son. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. Carl: What? Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Edward, sure I got a moment. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Carl] I know you're stubborn as a mule but you don't have to act like a jackass! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, your old man's read a book or two. [walks into the bathroom]. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Becky Sue: Oh, we couldn't do that. We're having big fun here. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? Carl Otis Winslow: I know. "Tomorrow, Dad!" I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. She actually said, "Human Being". Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. It meant a lot to me. You think she'll really kiss Steve? Rachel Crawford: Maybe you could come back when your voice has changed. Wha? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? Steve Urkel: Yes! [the car breaks down. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today - TheList.com Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. That's all. Alright. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas. Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! Steve Urkel: All right! I never got an 'A' before. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Steve Urkel: Oh, Laura, my love. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Uh, Curtis. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. But Waldo messed up and put the wrong date on the flyers. I'm Stefan sweet thing. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Steve Urkel: A little? Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. You can do it! Laura: This is just a model, right? Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. They help move along our sentences. Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Rachel Crawford: Exactly what were Eddie's instructions? Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: He must've been dangerous. Stefan Urquelle. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Hey, wait a minute. 80 Clever Pick Up Lines - Use these to break the ice! - Mantelligence Pull your gun right now. Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. Carl Otis Winslow: Now honey, it's really ok Harriette Winslow: No it's not ok, Carl. Bushwhacker Luke: Me and me brother, we hate cops! I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! I-I-I see. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. I will not give you a lock of my hair. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. We only have to make one quick delivery. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Steve Urkel Pick Up Lines - zrrie.us I can almost see what you had for lunch! I only got the date wrong on one flyer. You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! Oh! Would you care to heal them with a kiss? Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? You are under arrest! He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Laura: We're not going anywhere. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. I can see my dad! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. And OOHHH, and him! Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Steve Urkel: We met once. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. 8. I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Join. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Laura: No! We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Forget it, Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Laura: Where did you get the money for this? "Tomorrow Dad!". He introduced himself and I was immediately struck by deep brown eyes, his engaging sense of humor and how delicately he handled my cantalopes. Urkel pronouns are the best. You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. Where do I sign? [stares at the racist cop] Black. Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. College Problems Student Problems Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid. You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? Seems I'm having all the luck. Carl: Overreact? Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Maybe a better word is Loud. One Now, let's read it! Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. This isn't my grandmother. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Rachel Crawford: Right. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Steve Urkel: Calm down? A mouse to cheese! The valet gave me a tip. Blogging Everyday on Tumblr No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. But I have feelings, too. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. It was your free safety. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'm not joking. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. And we practiced for six minutes! Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Or are they just lame? Raoul is the new produce manager. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. Mont gio sam eea!". Carl Otis Winslow: All right. Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. You have the right to remain silent. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Let's just get there! The truth is you deserve a kiss. Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Earlier Urkel's Funny Moments - YouTube 'Purple Urkel:' Actor Jaleel White launches cannabis brand - New York Post [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Why are you guys dressed like that? Steve Urkel: Oh, why not? Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. Steve Urkel: I bought two tickets to a concert that Laura wants to go to and offered to take her as my, get this, date! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well of course it's a Greek party, it's a sorority! Make my day! Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. But, I'd be willing to pay you. Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. [Notices Maxine & Laura left the living room] Well, I thought it was a good story. Steve Urkel: I can't! In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? I'm going to give you an 'A'. Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. Dadadadada! I love you more than life itself. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. I'm here. Carl: Uh-oh. Carl Otis Winslow: I'm not finished yet. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. It is not empty at all. Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. It's not fair. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Harriette Winslow: I know. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! One minute, "Moo!" Waldo: Sure you have. Nobody threatens my woman! Eddie: If I don't pull at least a C on my midterm exam, I'm gonna flunk Algebra. OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Laura: Wait a second. r/Unexpected on Reddit: Pick up lines as it's peak Steve Urkel: Oh no! Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. With Squeeze I'm not safe nowhere. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Carl Otis Winslow: You look horrible. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Chico! I'm sorry, call you next week? Edward! Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Mango? Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Robber: Oh yeah? Doo da doo da. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Newsflash, Eddie! Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Would you reward me with a kiss? Harriette: What for? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Me and Laura went ice skating together. https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099.

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