THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" First Response: First Response Certainly! Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . George Carlin's Wise Words On Politicians - The Photography Blog of WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. This legendary rant is even better when read. I have my ideas. But here's the thing, folks. endobj Please validate my existence. 194 0 obj Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. They dont want that! This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Not in the abstract they don't. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. Power, Politics & American Sports [transcript] [VIDEO CLIP] Jesse Owens: To me, politics has no part to play on the field of strife of . The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! You caused the problem. Complete biography of George Carlin . George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. endobj 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO Fuck hope!. George Carlin - Wikipedia The planet has been here four and a half billion years. They don't care about the planet. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' Ive read it dozens of times. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Quote by George Carlin: "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). They are irrelevant. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! You know, say, boy, he really . <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. "We're so self-important. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. They should be based on the parents' performance. Thats against their interests. Personally, I think we still need to hoist our fannies perpendicular and hike ourselves to the ballet box for all elections. Religion. endobj Do you think its possible that one of these POLITICIANS whose judgment is so poor that he honestly thinks of himself as serving the Nation might occasionally be expected to indulge in little patriotism huh What do you think? As I say, they're my work, they're my . Well, we know what they want. Then read it again. Trump Follower? They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. 0000002565 00000 n Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. startxref Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. What's with all the selfies? You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' And so when finally all the facts come out and our subject seems quite guilty he employs that sublime use of the passive voice: POLITICIAN:MISTAKES WERE MADE. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). It will be a lot of fun. But wheres the logic in that? 187 0 obj 0000080920 00000 n Yeah, the public sucks! <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[308.9844 674.625 540.0 693.375]/StructParent 1/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). Oh boy. They're not your friends. And let's not forget about YouTube. That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. <>stream Off-course no politician would admit to such a lowly station as working in Government. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. )'B^E_2yKg&. Maybe something else sucks around here. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. George Carlin on Voting transcript | iComedyTV.com And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. A clean place to live. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! Everybody's going to save something now. They want obedient workers. Its a big club, and you aint in it! Im talking about the real owners now, the BIG owners! And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. 183 0 obj So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. It's always the whole thing. Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. Garbage out. They dont care about you at all at all AT ALL. George Carlin The Planet Is Fine transcript | iComedyTV.com Now, in the interest of logicsomething religion has a really hard time withI'm going to skip around the list a little bit: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. Garbage ingarbage out. 0000002803 00000 n Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. We don't need that many. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. People like to twist that around, I know. They don't pass through a membrane from "another reality". I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! You have no choice! And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. 0000008961 00000 n Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] Fuck em! Everybody says they suck. You wanna know what a friend is? George Carlin Scripts And American English is loaded with euphemisms. They're your contacts. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. Something is definitely wrong. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. (But First, Answer Me This). They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Vodafone Ad. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Unless we think of some way to fight back. He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics You dont. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in It: George Carlin as Social and See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. And don't even get me started on Twitter. TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Your vote is what determines the direction this Great Ship America will turn. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. Marc Allan: Hi. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. xref Do you? So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. Two reasons I dont vote. everybody complains about politicians. [5] And another one: 0000002011 00000 n <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> stream I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. George Carlin: Dumb Americans. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. Yeah, right. Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? m o n t c l a i r . American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. 0000005590 00000 n We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. Pfft! Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. They want obedient workers. Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. Comedian George Carlin's 'Last Words' - NPR.org Quick Guide. George Carlin: How you doing? % That doesnt help them. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? You and I are not in the big club. Your email address will not be published. They don't get any real human contact. This is what we have to offer. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. They don't fall out of the sky. Theyll get it. All across this great land of ours, the greatest nation on earth, the greatest nation in the history of the World and in times of military crisis you can be sure that someone in a suit in this town will eventually plant himself in front of a camera and carry on a great deal about the most powerful nation on the face of the earth. Everybody complains about politicians. See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Keep 'Em Separated: Remembering George Carlin : NPR 4 Mar. Such a nice touch. You voted them in. George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) THE FOOD IS GREAT BUT PUBLIC SERVICE IS TERRIBLE. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. 183 21 xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . But social media is just a symptom of our narcissistic, attention-deficit culture. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. Not in the abstract they don't. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poleshundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice agesAnd we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? Two reasons. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). endobj endobj x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). They want your retirement money. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. They own everything. Pfft! We're not rats', Rectorial address, Glasgow University - 1972, For Geoffrey Tozer: 'I have to say we all let him down', by Paul Keating - 2009, for James Baldwin: 'Jimmy. Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. "No child left behind. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. endobj He missed this one. Then you're just what they're looking for. Press J to jump to the feed. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Everybody complains about politicians. 186 0 obj Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. 0000004120 00000 n George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript We dont have people like that in this country. Everybody says they suck. Everyone experiences pain, of course. (LAUGHS). 0000001412 00000 n And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. And that's just sad.". "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" Thats right. Yes, all the words are quite impolite. And the worst part is that social media has become a platform for outrage and self-righteousness. POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. They got you by the balls. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? 191 0 obj Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy.

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