But we started fighting more and more. Good luck. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. Probably. Good luck to you. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . You're an adult. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. I want to be a father!!! I need advice too. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. That's when one of them dropped the term . My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). And 3 children. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. Now she's pregnant. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. You're a dude she just met, maybe at a bar, maybe on a dating site. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. He's not all bad. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. It was very stressful. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. Sex is the leading cause of babies. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. 15) His biological clock is ticking. As to my ex yes she is into me, we where together for over 9 years, this current relationship is just 10 months old! most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? what is de main reason why u do not love her?? I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. Long story as short as possible! Privacy Policy. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. useless boy!! I was supposed to be the one. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), New Music Video: 'Badman Badgirl' By Becca Feat. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Rightfully so! We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. But I want to be a father. . THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! You are right it is not fair to her. So, we got married. Single. We are two total opposite people. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. I know that my kids love us both. :(. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. Immerse yourself in nature. We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. We are two total opposite people. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. Damaged. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Op: get a job and support yourself. He was a rebound for me. YOU GOT THIS! And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? Most were married to . Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? long story short. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. It's not that they don't want to. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. I want to be a father!!! BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. Where are you from? She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. Good luck! The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Hair. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. If you don't love her then don't be with her. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. That's what we tackle in today's blog. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. I pretended to be. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. and our Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. My greatest concern is the child. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Why not abortion?? There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. Steve. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. I was in the same boat. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. Americans love coffee. but honestly did society really win? The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. Everyone is happier. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always fails to learn. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. To think about the kids. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. They hurt the most. I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! Are these issues still there? Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Download Preview. You need to get in contact with services and leave. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. Making your child or probably children at this point live in hell as well because hey if you married her you may as well keep having sex and bring more kids in the world who would have to listen to the fighting, name calling, hate. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. One slight problem I don't love her! I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. "We are. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. Why is she with you? Same boat. We tried to make it work.

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